The Lovely Miss Jean Simmons

Here is Jean Simmons.
I see from the TCM Now Playing program
guide that she's appearing tonight in the
1953 film Young Bess, which the trailer
calls "the story of an unhappy queen."
Which is hilarious when you consider
that her co-star is Charles Laughton,
a truly unhappy queen. Also starring
is Stewart Granger, who looks really
gay in tights and feathered hats. In fact,
the whole MGM Technicolor extravaganza
looks like a gay hat designer's wet dream.
You should probably skip it and watch
Jean Simmons in Elmer Gantry (1960),
Spartacus (1960), or Mister Buddwing
(1966). She's still around and still acting.

Starlets With No Pants Day #1

Janice Rule RULES!

I watched the gothic western, Welcome to
Hard Times, on TCM (the best television
channel on the planet) last night. What a
good little western it is! Hank Fonda, as
always, was wonderful. But actress Janice
Rule with her Irish accent steals a lot of
scenes. A very accomplished and serious
stage actress, Janice Rule can also be seen
in The Ambushers, The Swimmer, and
The Chase. She also appeared in just about
every 1960s TV drama you can name.

Pajama Party Bikini Machine

This is Susan Hart. There's another actress
with the same name from something called
U.S. Marshals, but that is someone else. There
are, like, six Susan Harts in the IMDB, but only
one of them starred in both The Ghost in the
Invisible Bikini AND The Slime People. People
say she got roles in these 1960s film epics,
because she was married to one of the guys
who owned American International Pictures,
but she was pretty cute and spunky all on her
own. (Can I say "spunky" here?)

Diane Baker, regular girl

Okay, we've discussed starlet Hope Lange and her
famous right hand (which is gloved up in this photo),
so it's time to see more of the brunette in this group
photo from The Best of Everything, a painfully cheesy
soap opera from 1959. Her name is Diane Baker.
Diane played regular girls on 1960s TV shows like
The Fugitive, Route 66, and The Big Valley. She
wasn't a glamourpuss. She was like your best friend's
cute sister. Regular. But cute as a button. My favorite
Diane Baker is The Prize (1963), in which she is even
cuter than a button. Oh, and she was in the original
1962 movie, The 300 Spartans. What a doll!

Style Tip #1

If you want to look like an idiot, get your hair
done by the same guy who trims your poodle.

If you want to look beautiful, pose like a sex kitten.
(Cats rule!)

Attack of the Horror Clone Beauties

How to tell the difference between
Yvonne Furneaux, Kate O'Mara, and Debra Paget:

Yvonne was in Federico Fellini's La Dolce vita and Roman Polanski's Repulsion, but she was never in an Elvis movie. She appeared with Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee in the 1959 Hammer film The Mummy.

Kate O'Mara was in the TV shows Danger Man, The Saint, The Avengers, and Doctor Who, but she was never in an Elvis movie. She appeared with Peter Cushing in the 1970 Hammer horror film The Vampire Lovers.

Debra Paget was in the Roger Corman films Tales of Terror and The Haunted Palace with Vincent Price, plus she was in the Elvis film Love Me Tender. A clip of her from The Haunted Palace appeared with Peter Cushing in the 1974 horror film Madhouse. (And she had the best legs.)

In La Dolce vita, hardly anyone noticed Yvonne, because they were all watching Anita Ekberg (a blonde). In Repulsion, hardly anyone noticed Yvonne, because they were all watching Catherine Deneuve (a great blonde).

In The Vampire Lovers (a fascinating film), hardly anyone noticed Kate, because they were all watching Ingrid Pitt and Madeline Smith.

In Love Me Tender, everyone (even Elvis) noticed Debra Paget.

(Peter Cushing had a great life!)

Silly Round Eyes

Hope on my Hands

I actually met Hope Lange in the mid-1970s.
We shook hands. Her hand was cool and moist.
She was wearing a (70s-style) jogging suit (because
it was the 70s, right?), and the hair around her temples
was slightly damp. She was in her early 40s at the time
and still very attractive. Her ex-husband, actor Don
Murray, was with her. If I remember right, he was
wearing a jogging outfit, too, but I wasn't really
paying much attention to him.


(Yup, that would be the very same hand.)

Hope Lange 1933 - 2003.

Balls!

Judith Barrett

Colleen Coleman

Dinah Marshall

Joan Blondell

Pouty Mouth

Joey Heatherton, sex kitten extraordinaire, made mouth-breathing an art form. A dancer and singer by training, she parted her full lips very slightly and whispered into the ear of Hollywood. Her very name was a little gasp of breath, like “flow” or “wow” or “Zowie!” Her last name was soft and whispy, a hard “H” in a soft bed of flowers. It was an “H” like Harlow’s, an “H” like Heaven. It said, “come Hither.” It purred. The mouth-breathing image appeared in her studio stills, her record album covers, and her pinups. It spoke whole paragraphs without a sound. It was warm and close, and it tickled the hairs on your neck (if you were male). It was a package deal with the gentle sloping breasts and the strong dancer’s thighs. It got her on television from the Sixties to the Eighties. It got her movie contracts and recording studio time. It gave her a career, advertising—of all things!—mattresses. It worked, and so did Joey.






Here's a video of one of her mattress commercials.

There are web sites about her HERE and HERE.

(This is one of the rare blondes you'll find at Starlet Showcase.)