Half-Naked Woman Sitting in a Piano

Ava Gardner enjoys a good book. And I enjoy a good Ava Gardner photo.
I am a big fan of Edward R. Hamilton, Bookseller.
He's a real guy, and he sells discount books of
all kinds. I like the histories and biographies.
These newspaper-looking catalogs come in the mail,
and I look through them and mark the ones I want,
and mail Ed a check, and a couple weeks later my
books arrive. The company charges you $3.50 for
shipping if you order one paperback or a whole
tubful of dictionaries. It don't matter. They don't
care; it's still just $3.50. They must have a giant
machine that folds cardboard around your book bundle
and staples the package together with these really
big-A$$ staples that you need a screwdriver or a pair
of pliers to get open. Once you're on their mailing
list, they kindly send you free catalogs for the rest
of your life. I'm sure they will send them even after
I'm dead. Edward R. Hamilton is THAT nice a guy.
So, when I'm browsing their catalog, which I often
do while I'm eating my creamy tomato soup and Ritz
crackers for lunch, I can usually find something
interesting. A couple months ago, I got several
hardcover biographies for $24, big-A$$ staples
included. The whole thing is very casual and very
old-fashioned. There is a certain warm and fuzzy
retro feel to writing your name on a good old order
form and stamping an envelope and all that. It sort
of reminds me of mailing in three Kellogg's Corn Flake
box tops and thirty-five cents in coins for a little blue
toy submarine that you could play with in the bathtub.
Or ordering things from the Bazooka Bubble Gum
wrappers (truly RETRO!).
Edward R. Hamilton only ships books to places with
U.S. Zip Codes, so if you're anywhere but here,
you're basically screwed.
One of the Edward R. Hamilton mail order catalogs.
If you want to snail mail him, he's at:
Edward R. Hamilton, Bookseller
Falls Village, CT 06031-5000
Gina Lollabrigida is reading music and not a book, but where else are you gonna find a picture of a scantily clad Gina sitting in a piano?
(Here's that half-naked woman I mentioned.)
For those of you who don't know about American boxtop deals, here's a very old example.
For those of you unfamiliar with Bazooka Bubble Gum, this is what I mean.

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